Impolite Society: Exploring the Weird, Taboo & Macabre

Cosmetic Surgery 2.0: The Bold New World of Female Genital Cosmetic Surgery

• Impolite Society

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In the age of social media, filters, and face tuning, everyone is looking for a way to get pretty quick. Plastic surgery for faces, butts and breasts have been common for decades- but there’s a new whole world of enhancement out there that is waiting for you. If you're willing to take the OUCH it takes to get there, that is. 

Today we’re talking about a bold field of cosmetic surgeries that women are undertaking. What length will females go to to achieve the perfect body? Farther than you might think. 

That’s what your in for today on Impolite Society.

Sources:

https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/committee-opinion/articles/2020/01/elective-female-genital-cosmetic-surgery

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Female_Genital_Cosmetic_Surgery

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41443-021-00480-1

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8498956/ 

https://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/nonsurgical-aesthetic-genital-procedures/shots

https://centreforsurgery.com/services/g-spot-injection/#:~:text=The%20G%20spot%20injection%2C%20also,an%20orgasm%20or%20sexual%20climax.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24938616/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4560479/

https://vajenda.substack.com/p/the-o-shot-is-untested-with-a-sketchy

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00266-018-1137-7

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7090261/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10669888/

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/sep/15/dr-charles-runels-o-shot-women-orgasm-sexual-cure

https://www.sfgate.com/health/article/Enhanced-romance-The-G-Shot-Is-it-the-latest-2557470.php





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laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

In the age of social media, filters, and face tuning, everyone is looking for a way to get pretty quick. Plastic surgery for faces, butts, and breasts have been common for decades, but there's a whole new world of enhancement out there that is waiting for you if you're willing to take the ouch that it takes to get there, that is. Bold, field of cosmetic surgeries that women are undertaking. What length will females go to achieve the perfect body? Farther than you might think. That's what you're in for today on Impolite Society. Welcome back! It is Impolite Society, and I am Laura.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

And I'm the other one, otherwise known as Rachel.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And here we are again. We're talking about cosmetic surgery, but Not the typical ones that we've talked about before. Cracking nasal bones for nose jobs. Carving open chest cavities for breast implants. Trocar stabbing for liposuction. Boring. Absolutely boring.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I mean, if I've had a passing fancy to have one, then it ain't taboo enough for us.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Exactly, because that is all everyday boring ass shit, today we are getting much more extreme with something known as Female Genital Cosmetic Surgery, or FGCS for short.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Okay, so as the owner of some female genitalia, genitalia, which

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Genitalia!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

which is actually how I typed it in the notes so many times, I'm intrigued. Color me intrigued. This one is just so odd to me because I can understand boob jobs and liposuction and nose jobs because those are things that everyone can see.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah, like the nose on your face, that's pretty prominent.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

And I can see how that would affect how people perceive you. It would have a snowball's effect of positive consequences. But this is a very personal and private parts?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

your private

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Your private parts! Oh man! But I am just ready to hear all about what shocking and horrific things modern society has dreamed up and told us we need to do to our intimate parts. And I also want to know how many videos of these surgeries being performed did you watch in preparation for this episode today, Laura?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Not that many. I did a, a brief overview on YouTube. I'll, I'll talk about a few of them as we kind of dig into the different, Options one may have, but it was nothing like the deep dive that I did on

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Did for the regular. I have a story. Well, that's just satisfying.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah, truly. So, female genital cosmetic surgery, it's actually a whole suite of procedures because there's a lot of parts down there. Yeah. And I guess that means there's a lot of ways to improve because they're a complex system. They all work together, interconnected parts that surgeons can really fuck up.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

You say improve. What does that mean? What in this case, what makes one vulva more improved than the other?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

That's a great question that I still do not fully understand. But FGSC, it stands out as particularly weird because as this name implies, it's cosmetic, it is characterized by, quote, an absence of clear physical or functional medical necessity. So, completely elective. Just cutting and injecting all around your, your lady business. And that makes it different from female genital surgery. Those correct a problem. Like a urinary issue, a vaginal prolapse. Pain, different kinds of things, you know, things, the body can go wrong in a thousand different ways. Right? And luckily, modern medicine is here to help us out in these cases. But these, the Female Genital Cosmetic Surgeries, they started their life as a way to help people with real medical issues and they've devolved into this.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Welcome to Panem! Do do do do, however

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

is it? May the may the gods be in your favor? May the odds be

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

takes something that, like you said, and it just blows it up to the extreme. Everybody's got their fancy, genetically engineered genitals now.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

It truly, like, Hunger Games, the more and more that we do this show, the more and more, I'm like, God, we are living in Pan Am.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And I didn't even really like that book or

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Oh, I love

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

but it. stuck with me, man.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

That's, that's what makes it good.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And Like everything else that's awful in this world, this kind of surgery is on the rise. Labioplasty, and I'm going to get to exactly what that is in a second, this is the most popular procedure and it is increased more than 50 percent between 2014 and 2018. It's a 50 percent increase in four years and I couldn't find up to date stats on this, but we can only assume it's just ratcheted up in this time, right? Can I ask you, Rachel, as a TikToker

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Ooh.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

got the pulse on the younger generation, What is Gen Z doing nowadays with their lady business? Because I've been hesitant to Google it because I don't want to end up on some sort of strange Algorithmic ad or list of any kind. I just want to prepare myself for the future I want to brace my brain for the horrors that are to come because I want to know, are they embracing nature and letting their pubic hair grow? Cause I feel like we've got this whole like women power kind of thing going on in the new generation. But how far are they taking it? Because that might mean that this female genital cosmetic surgery nonsense might fall in popularity.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

You know, I don't want to brag, but I've set my mental well being timer on TikTok to 30 minutes a day, so I am not the quite the pundit that I used to be. But I will say, I, even if I was, I don't think I would know, because girl, you can't even say labia on TikTok.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

ha ha

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

So how are they going to be talking about it? The real question, The real group that's got their finger on the pulse. What are the Mormon moms doing with their vulvas? And that is, okay, you laugh, that you laugh. This is a very serious question that was addressed on the eye opening documentary series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Where one of the indistinguishable clone Mormon moms

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

close.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, I could not tell some of them apart.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Well, you're partially face blind.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I am, but yeah, I mostly discern people by hair, and they all have the same hair. And they all do their makeup the same way. The clone army. It's hard to say, but one of them decided that to feel better after becoming a Mormon mom, was she needed to lob off her labia in the name of empowerment and Okay, I get it. I know I'm sounding preachy right now because I watched the shit out of that show and I'm definitely going back for season 2

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Oh, Jesus.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

But I gotta find out what they cut off next!

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

So, she had labiaplasty.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, on the show. Actually, not on the show, but they showed her recovery and whatnot. She, you know, she did a two for one, did a boob job, labiaplasty.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

even, even the Mormons aren't safe from this bullshit. What hope do the rest of us have Yeah, truly, because, and the reason why I ask, because the more and more of our hair, our downstairs hair that we hack off, the more women find on their bodies that just isn't up to par. Like, have you heard of strawberry legs?

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Are strawberries walking around now? No, it's like a rash or something. I have strawberry skin,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I a hundred percent have strawberry skin. I was like, I, it's k, it's uh, Ker chosen and Polaris. Anyway, the, the internet gave it a name. I have strawberry legs. This is something that I now have to have to fix. Right. The more that we're cutting off all of our pubes and getting a good look at the roast beef downstairs, we're finding problems. We're worried about what our partners are going to think about it, and Again, like back to the anal bleaching episode of all the things to feel inferior about the color of your butthole or the size of your labia. It just, it just breaks my brain. And I just, I want Gen Z to set themselves free and just keep the mystery bush and set yourselves free.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Into the secret garden. No, I also think it is fair that you mentioned anal bleaching to point out that you chose both of those topics within, I would say like the last three months. So you are very invested in what's going on in people's swimsuit area. I'm here for it, but I get it. Yeah. The, uh, online kind of panic or pressure around these certain things. Cause it was online recently after 31 years of life, I learned that you could have an innie or an outie vulva. I didn't know that there was,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I thought they were all just vulvas.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

yes, I didn't realize there was a distinction between them. And so now that's something you've got to be worried about, right? Cause obviously there's a preference.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I, I'll get to it when we talk about the different surgeries, but I have thoughts on that as well. All right. But before we go any further, I am gonna go on a little bit on an off topic rant, because when I was Googling all of these different terms, uh, you know, the different surgeries, you have to dig deep to find some real information. You have to know what you're doing in Google because the first five to 10 pages of Google is, it's from plastic surgeons who offer the procedure. It's. Fucking SEO, search engine optimization, these guys have gotten so good, not just plastic surgeons, but like companies in general, have gotten so good at gaming the system, they bury any real information, and it's hard to find any information that isn't from the provider, like the person That, you'd

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

mm hmm.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

So that person that benefits from you getting the surgery. That's not the person I want to get my information from. Like, that's a big red flag. And the normal person's scholarly articles are difficult to find, hard to read. And it's just, as soon as I googled it, I was like, oh, this is, this is not good. This is not good.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

But if I can't trust the person who's directly profiting off of me, who can I trust, Laura?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Impolite society! Duh!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

tell it how it is, because we're making no money.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Zero money.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

money.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

That's too true.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

To bring you the reality. The cold, hard metal tray that your lobbed off labios will be plopped upon.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Okay, let's go through these procedures and what they are. Number one, labiaplasty. This eliminates, this surgery eliminates unwanted tissue of the labia majora and or minora. Um,

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

naive, but I do know a little bit of the complaints that one might have. And I don't know if you can have too much labia majora, right? Is that a thing?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yes, you can have too much labia majora because a subset of this procedure is the vulval lipoplasty, where they Do liposuction on your labia majora and mons pubis. So,

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

That's, okay.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

so that FUPA area, like

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I get that.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

you, they can do it. Not, not only just on the, the mons pubis, which is the top of your lady parts, but the sides as well, they can do, uh, liposuction there as well. And I mean, if any of them, I'm like, okay, this is the one I'm like, I had to choose, I guess that would be

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, so, gun to my head, you're getting some kind of genital cosmetic

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Precisely. Yeah, yeah, that

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

out some, any fat, you know. But that that one doesn't surprise me, cause wherever you can cut a hole in the body and stick a thing in, you can suck some fat out, so. Trax.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

of places for it to compile in your

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

You're telling me.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

But basically the, the major surgery, the, the most of it is done on the manure, the inside lips of the

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

what. How would you describe those if,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

your flaps and folds.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

your flaps and folds, but like, if you're not familiar with the female genitals at all, right, the menorah is the, I want to call it the inside parts, but that's not always the case as

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

but they're, they're inside the start of them at least, or on the

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

inside and they are Flesh colored? I guess all of your skin is flesh, but they're just more, they look more like they are inside, they came from inside of your body. They're like the inside parts of your lips, almost.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

yeah, totally. It's a mucous membrane, So, and,

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

That's erotic.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

you know, you talked about the innie or the outie, I mean, I was watching these surgeries, and, I'm like, they look like a pretty butterfly. Like, that was honestly

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I also looked at, I didn't watch any videos, but I did look at a lot of before and after photos. And I had the same thought. I'm like, it looks like a butterfly. It looks like a rose or like a

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

same. Yes!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

And the thing that I noticed, in addition to that, was the afters, they all looked exactly the same. They were like indistinguishable cookie cutter vulvas. Looked like a Barbie with a little, like, slice cut in.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Aw, that's so gross. But, yes! That's exact a hairless, little, uh, little slit. A little I mean, really, we're just turning ourselves into sex dolls, right?

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Oh god. Not a harmony!

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

ha ha ha

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Don't call me Harmony, not yet.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

But basically, like, I mean, just to give a quick overview in the case, the listener is not fully grasping. If you feel your flaps and folds are too big, they hang out or they're uneven. This can fix it. So they, they, they trim off parts of your vulva. There, there were surgeries. They're pulling it out and they're

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, the forceps grab

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

yep. Pull it, back and cut it out.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

That, I saw that in some show I was watching about cosmetic surgery, probably like chopped or whatever, botched. No, it wasn't botched. It was some taboo show because obviously that's my interest. And they blurred out everything except for the removed labia that laid on the tray.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Oh, God!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

they they, got a shot of it. And it was one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen. Not because female genitalia is disgusting, but any dismembered bob. Yeah, body part. It's just, it was very upsetting. And,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

killer would, like, hang on their wall.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

and because it is an intimate area, that makes it worse. Again, it's not gross because of what it is, it's because it was cut off a human person and it was just sitting there. And it felt like mutilation to my untrained eyes. But she loved it.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

She's over the moon

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

All five to six men that she will sleep with for the derainder of her life will appreciate her sacrifice.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

No, they really won't, and that's the grand joke, right? The men don't really fucking care. They're just like, Oh God, I

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Only the ones on the internet.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah. Yeah. That's theoretical pussy. They're real picky about theoretical pussy.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

just. I was trying to say I'm picky about theoretical, I don't even know what I'm picky about. Okay, and then one, one more thing about this, because it's a huge market of folks who this might appeal to, because although just during this research, I learned more about the innie and the outie, I also learned that 56 percent of women are outies, which I would not have guessed because that, I have not seen that depicted anywhere.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

In your late night movies,

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Well, I just, or like, I guess I don't see a lot of vulvas, like, when it comes down to

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I mean, yeah, because you see the, you know, what you see,

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

You see what you see.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

but I feel like I did see like there was, there's artists that do different, uh, drawings or depictions or casts or things like that. And I feel like that was my thing of like, Oh, this is what it looks like. It's a wide variety.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

specific artist that goes around to the fairs and stuff in St. Louis that has prints with just like 12 different ones on there.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah! I think I know exactly who you're talking about.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

We looked at them.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Alright, so on this surgery, potential complications include Scarring, scarring tissue, scar tissue means you got scar tissue in your hoo ha Infection, loss of sensation And painful intercourse. Now, of course, this doesn't happen uniformly, but these are the things that can happen. And in fact, I watched a video of a surgeon answering the question, does sensation change? And he's like, I have to be very careful about how I answer this question. Yeah, theoretically, it's not going to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. However, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, you fucking cretin.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah. Well, shit. I mean, I Losing sensation. I'm assuming that sex is the reason you're doing this, right? You're not doing this because you're chafing down there.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

that actually, that is, uh, a subset, right? There are some women who have labia that are outie so much that it does cause chafing or other issues. And I'm like, Okay, I will, you know, everyone's situation is different. I will not judge you on that. You know?

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

But I'm assuming most of the people are doing this because they want to look better naked, right? It's not that their lips are getting caught in their pants zipper.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah. I mean, it's hard to say, right, based on statistics, but that's definitely the impression that I get. Again, these procedures were created as a way to solve real problems, and then things have gotten fuzzy as

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I mean, I will say that was definitely the motivation of the Mormon mom.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Was

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Who did, yeah, it was just for aesthetics.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

What was the boob job for? So her shirts will fit better? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

wanted to prefer to, and she didn't, this is what they're good at. The Mormon moms. They're good at creating entertainment on TV and on Tik TOK. And they're really good at pretending they don't actually have children. So the saggy tits ruins the illusion. So you got to yank them back up again. The Mormon moms, God bless them.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

all right, so labiaplasty, I know what you're thinking, okay, we're reducing the size of labia, but, but what if my labia are too small? Well, there's a procedure for that too. Labia minora augmentation. Where they do a fat transplant or a cosmetic filler injected to, uh, beef up the beef curtains.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Laura, you can only say that once a year on your birthday. That's a Bob's Burgers quote. I knew that would go

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I don't even know where I heard beef curtains from, but it's just stuck in my brain somewhere.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

okay, so this is literally filler for your vulva, right? So is this, Like the poor woman's labiaplasty, like you can't afford the cutoff piece, so you just use some forced perspective to kind of puff up the other parts. Is this like the Gandalf sitting at the long table with the hobbit's trick of female genetic cosmetic surgery?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Uh, no, it's labia minora. So the inside, like, cause I mean, it can be so flat that they don't, like the menorah doesn't really exist. So you put like some filler in there to, to beef them out.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

And what is the purpose for that? Just because for aesthetics, I

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

a hundo percent aesthetics.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

even know. I wouldn't even be like How do you get to the point of your life where you're like, man, my labia minora are too small. They're just so pee wee.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I don't know. That's a great question.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

The internet, too much time on the internet. Oh, Some women go their whole lives without even looking at their vaginas. So, it's just like.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Next up is clitoral hood reduction. This surgery claims to increase sexual function by removing some of the clitoral And if you're not, uh, initiated, that is kind of like the, the skin that kind of folds over the clitoris and kind of covers it. And It's, kind of like a little snug bug in a rug, but it's like little noses popping out unless you're like down for business. And then like it's whole heads popping

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

yeah, it's, it's the foreskin of the clitoris.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Exactly. And this is called a hood act to me. Which is a very sexy procedure name.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Ooh hoo.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Complications can include, yet again, scarring, infection, loss of sensation, and damage to your clitoris.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

So it's kind of like a male circumcision, but with the opposite effect, right? We're cutting back skin, so we increase sensitivity. Even though it has kind of the same potential side effects. So it's, yeah, I mean, hoodectomy is kind of a weird word, but I guess it's better than, uh,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Female circumcision?

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

yeah. That one's already got about a bit of bad PR on it.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Totally, and this one is the one that upset me the most. Your lady is shy, let her be shy, right? It's too close to comfort to the female genital mutilation in those countries where they cut off the clitoris of young girls. And Really all of, all of these are a version of that, right? But this, this one was particularly upsetting to me because also just, I, I visited the doctor last week and I was just like, can you imagine, you know, a cold, unfeeling, I don't give a fuck, you're a moron attitude cutting around your most sensitive part, your most like treasured sexual part. Get away from there. I want you to have nothing to do with this area. Please back off, sir, especially with your knife.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Well, I agree. I, knives away from genitals. That's my standpoint. That's, that's, it's a firm line that I stand on. but also, you don't have to worry about that, coldness from the medical professionals because, uh, the cosmetic ones are a little bit more salesy, right? They, they probably make you feel real good.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

gonna take care of you, girl.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

they give you some, um, knock, what the shit? They give you some laughing gas beforehand. So

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

you're out for these. These are general anesthesia.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

would, but if you were like, Oh no, I'm stressed. They'd give you some of that

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

at

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

then they'd knock you out. Right, that was another thing that the Mormon moms did. Was that they were doing not, what is it called? Oh my

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

This is just like Real Housewives of Utah.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Essentially, what is it called? Laughing gas

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Nitrous Oxide.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

They were doing, yeah, nitrous oxide. Yeah, they went to go get Botox and they were getting nitrous oxide. Laughing.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Housewives of Utah.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, because they can't drink alcohol, but they do that and they take ketamine for emotional trauma healing.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

down for that. Sure. Mmm.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Great times. Great times. but I understand I can, again, I agree, no knives near genitals. I understand the need for increased sensation. I understand the desire for it. Uh, in Mary Rocher's book. Bonk. She had a whole bit about a clitoral pump, which was supposedly something that, very, very efficient at increasing female satisfaction to the point where she said something along the lines of, she got it and then she didn't do anything else for like 72 hours.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Good for her! Go on, Mary! Go on with your bad self!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Exactly. So maybe

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

that shit!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

yeah, it's something you can do at home privately. That's not permanent and irreversible.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And no knives near genitals.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

That's the slogan. Slogan of the podcast.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

ha ha! Next one! Hymenoplasty. I don't know if I'm saying that right. Hymenoplasty?

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Hamenoblasti. If it was actually ancient Greek, they would be like the, yeah, it would be like, Hamenoblasti.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

So what this does is create that virginal state of the hymen where they reconstruct the hymen from the tissue that remains because, I mean, it, it does remain. So when the hymen breaks, like it doesn't just disappear and dissolve, right? It kind of like folds off to the side and heals or they do, they stitch it back together with whatever tissue is just kind of laying around and just kind of pull it into place Stitch it up. So it's basically sewing up your V hole. And as you can imagine, this is most popular in cultures who place a high volume on unmarried women's virginity. When I looked it up on YouTube, it was not offered by any, there were no videos from American, uh, Plastic surgeons about hymenoplasty. They were all Indian or, Middle Eastern of some variety. And I mean, I don't mean to sound harsh, but I mean, I guess it's better than being stoned to death

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

yeah. Yeah,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

are rare other than your wound, not properly healing, but I mean, it's not healed. It's going to, unhealed anyway. So

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

right. It's never meant to be permanent.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah, exactly.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Dear God, this is like the self voluntary husband stitch. Like, you never heard that? When you're sewing up a tear after you've had a baby and the husband's like, or the doctor's like, Oh, I gave it one extra stitch for you, man.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Um, if a doctor said that, I would kick him in the face.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I mean, it's like an old joke. I don't think, I don't think people do it anymore. You, yeah, look it up. It's, if you want to feel disgusted by humanity. Especially if you want to continue your, your anti doctor kick that you're on.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

more men telling us what to do with their bodies. Otherwise we just start cutting it off, apparently.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

It's the next stage.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

But

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Like I said, we're just gonna become a bunch of sex dolls. I

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

because I apparently have learned zero information about the hymen. Like I don't know what, why do we have it? Why is it there? Are we really coming factory sealed? Like this is insane. I don't even, I don't understand the mechanisms of how it works.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

don't either. Honestly, I don't know other than, I mean, I guess, you know, the tissue, it's like a, I don't know. Kind of an enclosed area, and then as you grow, you know, I imagine that we could do a cast of many different hymens. I imagine that they're all very different in, in That sounds In children, don't do casts of children's genitals. I don't, I'm backtracking very quickly. But I just say like, you know, we're all very different. I just imagine we start small, we get bigger. So I imagine it's kind of a residual from that. But maybe that's a great episode actually. What the fuck's a

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I tried to see pictures. I only saw diagrams. It didn't make sense to me. It just was like flesh just blocking it. How but you can have your period without having sex. And somehow riding a horse but It goes through it?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

The period goes through it. Yeah, it's not like completely

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Well, I know, but it's like a little tiny hole. I don't know, man. Somehow riding a horse can break it. I don't want to know that one, but I've lived my whole life and it's just sad that how little we women know about our bodies.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Fair. And I'll get to a diatribe on that too.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

This is a very preachy podcast about female

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

a very preachy podcast. Next up, vaginoplasty. This is used to tighten up the vaginal contour. That was something that was said. Which I was like, what the fuck is that? And, and to increase sexual satisfaction. Basically, they cut and stitch your vagina tighter. They cut it out, they sew it together.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

And it sounds like there might be an easier solution here, guys, gals. Vaginoplasty, when it's easier to throw out pieces of your own body than the man you're fucking.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Aka, his dick ain't big enough.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

They're they make all kinds of apparatuses, and, I mean, it's

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

need to cut out pieces

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Not no shame to the men, because they have their own struggles. I've seen, men put pumps into their penises to inflate them. And it's like, it's just, no knives in your genitals, your genitals are fine. Somebody will enjoy them.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Somebody will enjoy them. Find that person! And, according to Google AI, this

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Oh no.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

It can also help with problems like unwanted noise, trapped air, and loose tampons.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

And any errant echoes that might holler back at you from your cavernous vagina. Ha ha ha ha

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

what the fuck? Unwanted noise, trapped air? As I'm just

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I mean,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

around all day.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Well, who doesn't love a good queef? They're hilarious! Boy, what a way to lighten up the mood in the bedroom, man.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

It's kind of like nature's big joke. Like, you think what you're doing is so great.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah! and it just means that everybody's having, well, or does it? I don't remember.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And loose tampons, that just means you got a heavy float, girl. You just need to size up, because

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

get the

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

loose and it's hanging

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

back in there.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Just push it back in.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, yeah.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

double up if you need to.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

But, okay, so I've heard that being relaxed helps with queefs, as opposed to being tense because the tense you're trapping the air in but if you're like relaxed it comes and so it's not even about size it's about what you know position and what's

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

would definitely position, definitely. And also how many times you're exiting and re entering, because then you're getting

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

that gives so many opportunities for slippage so it's just like

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Keep it, but not too, anyway. And, side note on this procedure, if they make it too small, you may have to stretch it out afterwards. With, um, dilators. Dot, dot, dot. Dil, dildolators!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

yeah they just look like little dildos Oh,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

options. And if these aren't all bad enough, we finally get to the coup de grâce, the G spot augmentation, and the O shot.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

shot? Oh, no! Oh.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

isn't there no scientific consensus that the G spot actually exists? Spoiler alert, there is not scientific consensus that this anatomical structure even exists. Look it up for yourself. If you don't believe me, doctors can't find it on every woman. They've done like post mortem studies and

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Oh, no. Who lets people do that to

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Donate your body to science, right? So they say it has to be a myth and you can make your own conclusions on that. We could do a whole episode about women's health and about how no one fucking cares,

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, but no one will

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And that's beside the point.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Oh, I think we talked about this in the clitters episode, but my pet. Belief or my pet theory is that it is comes from the clitoris It's two little blubs that we talked about that reach around the opening of the vagina So the g spot is really just that internal clitoral stimulation in the crotch of the clit.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah. But, I mean, but they, they don't know that it exists because they can't find it in every woman. But let's be honest. They're not looking that hard. So the point is, we don't know categorically, empirically, if the G spot exists or not, but we authorize doctors to augment or enhance it. If that doesn't tell you that we are living in wild fucking days, my friend, I don't know what does. And this kind of procedure doesn't technically fall into the realm of female genital cosmetic surgery. But I'm still lumping it in here because it's fucking stupid, just like all this shit. So, the O Shot, the G Shot, G Spot enhancement, and the are kind of performance enhancers, where people are looking to up their sexual pleasure, like how a penis pump or anal nitrates work or Spanish fly.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I've never heard of those

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

it's like seventies things. I don't know why they're in my lexicon, but they are, but it's all things that try to get you more revved up for the, for the business. And I don't know about you but nothing revs my engine like needles.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Amendment to our slogan no knives near genitals

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

or needles. No, I don't even want to know about genital needling. I don't even know that was a thing. I don't, Oh, I do know about sounding.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Mm hmm. You can

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I don't know if you're the one, maybe it was, you put it on the list.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

yeah. Uh. Yeah, you can also talk to Albert Fish about that. He was a very

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I don't want to talk to Albert Fish about anything.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Needles in his junk.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

All right. Enough of the disturbing needle and genital talk. Let's talk about it in a medical setting? I don't know.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

That makes it better!

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

So the O Shot, short for orgasm shot, is a procedure where platelet rich plasma from your own blood is injected into the G Spot, the Graftenburg spot. So they take your blood out of your arm, just like a normal blood draw, they spin it in one of those centrifuges, they extract the PRP and they inject it into your G Spot and your clitoris.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

And it does what?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

It makes you feel amazing!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

erection?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

The science on it is completely sus. kind of platelet rich plasma has a moment in like, homeopathic medicine of like, for healing wounds and different kinds of things. Like you can inject it, like the vampire facial, like that's

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Oh, see, I had not heard of that either.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

It's injecting blood into your body to, you know, reheal and rejuvenate and different kinds of things. The science is totally sketched. The, the O Shot, it was created by one man, Dr. Charles Runnels, and the procedure is trademarked, which I did not know was a thing. Uh, and it can only be performed by him or one of his certified practitioners. It's also not FDA approved and results last about nine months. And the consensus on this amazing sexual pleasure. is that there is no consensus. A lot Of people say it's placebo effect. The others say it's absolutely life changing. studies are mixed because, again, no one gives a shit about women's health, let alone their orgasms. And the one study that showed promising results was done by none other than Dr. Reynolds himself.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

hmm. Who else can I trust?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And he's also, before this, had been disqualified from working as a clinical investigator by the FDA after some sketchy shit he did on a previous study. That study was unrelated to female sex organs, but still, so methodology and ethics, maybe a little circumspect. Yes.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

that people go to for an orgasm. Like, there's more to life, folks. Don't let some quacky doctor shoot up your genital mystery fluid. If you want a better orgasm, just go to Spencer's Gifts, man.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

dude, go get a vibrator and like smoke some weed or turn on some candles or some shit. Like it's, it's not that important! But okay, next one is the G Shot, the G Spot Enhancement. This is injecting cosmetic filler into your G Spot. This is the same filler that goes into your face. And the idea is to increase the size of the G spot, making it more accessible and more sensitive during sexual activity. So plump it on up, just like your lips, like the ones on your face

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Those lips. We remember

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

also the other one, if you've had the, the other vaginoplasty that we were talking about, trying to beef up the beef curtains, whichever lips you want to look like. So this G Shot, it was invented in 2005 by Dr. David Matlock, an L. A. plastic surgeon, which immediately to me is like, mmm. It's

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

this in a pussy. He's like, the stuff that I'm putting in people's faces, I'm gonna puff up some G spots. He was

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

just like, a fever dream he had one night.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

he sat up in bed, Holy cow, this is gonna make me rich!

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Well, it did. Because it is also trademarked. Again, not a thing I knew that was possible when it isn't a device or a product, but a procedure. Because all of these needles and cosmetic filler and platelet rich plasma are all things existed. But anyway, He's the only one who can do it or train your doctor to do it. And by the way, the training is a 30 minute video that the doctors purchase from him.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

If you can't learn a medical procedure in a 30 minute video, then I don't need it.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Quick hits. We're living in the world of TikTok.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yes,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And the G Shot, it has never been evaluated in a peer reviewed study. The only literature about its success comes from him. So, yeah, yeah. And also, I could not find any real articles on this, so I did what I always do when I want to know the real, real about something. I went to Reddit and searched it. So, yeah. And shit is bleak out there, man. There are all these women struggling with sexual dysfunction and grasping at anything that might help them. These are subreddits like womenover40, becomingorgasmic, themenopausereddit. It may be really sad. This is, this is complicated. I mean, are these women having issues because of some anatomical or some medical issue? Or is it psychological? No one knows, and like many things in the medical field, no one has cared enough to find out. So it's the fucking Wild West out there. It's people trying to experiment basically on themselves and then doctors trying to capitalize on it.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

This is ringing a bell to a type of surgery that we did not cover in the episode, which would be interesting to talk about maybe if we ever do more shorts in the future. This is another item from Mary Rocher's bonk book about, uh, A correlation between orgasms and the distance from, the distance between your clitoris and your vagina. And I believe one woman moved her clitoris closer to her vagina to

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Oh my God! Why would you do that to yourself?

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I just, I'm trying to remember, I believe that was the gist of it. So there is another kind, I guess it's not cosmetic because it's actually performing a function, right? But

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I did not come across this one in my research. Mind blown!

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, I'm gonna double check that. If it's not real, we can cut that out, but This you talking about it here because the big part of that book there was a Considerable chunk of that book where Mary Bush talked about the same thing like the kind of the orgasm gap and you know Why what some women have so much trouble with it? And I mean, I, to me, it doesn't take a psychologist to understand why women might have mixed feelings about sex in our current culture and society, not even current, in our existing culture and society, right? You've been hammered over your head with it for the first, what, quarter of your life? How awful it is. And then they were like, Oh, by the way, you're expected to have, you know, just,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I'm expected to have amazing orgasms every

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

shameful and disgusting. And you should center the man in the situation. And, oh, but you also need to, if you're not orgasming, you're defaulted, or you're defunct. Yeah, yeah. It's tough. There's a lot to unpack there.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

uh, yeah, that it, it, sex, sex is complicated. We've, we've talked about that a thousand

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

We wouldn't have a show if it wasn't.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

True, true. And the bottom line on all of these procedures is that there is not clear data on risks, benefits, complications of any of these. Good quality data just does not exist in this field and that's not just my opinion. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists in a very clearly written letter of concern that it published to both its members and to the world and their opinion letter also called out these doctors will use medical terms like labial hypertrophy with patients. And I, I heard somebody say that on the YouTube videos. He's like, my patient, this is the labial hypertrophy with patients. And that's when the labia minora is outside the labia majora, they give this name to give them. the, the consumer, the patient, a sense that what they're treating them for is this real, diagnosable, official medical condition, but it's fucking not mean, you just have 56 percent of, of women have that. And from the paper, This is very succinct, so I put it in quotes. For the labial hypertrophy to attain disease status, normality in measurement and function would need to be defined. This work simply has not been done. Currently, labial hypertrophy is neither definable nor measurable. One person's hypertrophy could be another's normality.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

And we talked about this with the clitoris, right? In the clitoris one, there's no real parameters. I mean, there's some around what makes a clitoris too long and too

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

a micropenis? It's,

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, because it's all just one big kind of spectrum anyway, so nobody's out there measuring to say what's what's right. And what's wrong

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yes.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

It's a judgment call I guess

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah. And, and that's what this all fucking is in a nutshell. There are no such thing as normal genitals, a normal clitoris, a normal orgasmic ability, a normal size of your labia. Normal is not what you see on the internet. If it pees and it orgasms, it's doing its fucking job. Leave it alone.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Amen brothers and sisters if it be let it be

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And even if it doesn't orgasm very well, just because you don't orgasm like a man doesn't mean you're deficient. It doesn't mean that you're broken.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I hear they're faking anyway

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I, Women are built different and sex is just sex. It's nothing to cut off your pussy parts for. Like, just leave it the fuck alone. And find something else to be weirdly fixated on. Like, how your second toe is longer than your big toe. And then just deal with it. Just move on with your fucking lives.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

If you give it enough time, the internet will tell you something else is wrong with you. So just sleep on it for like six months and then you'll be like, wow, my neck muscles need to be a little bit more atrophied. So I have a swan neck, but no, I've learned a lot here today. And my two big takeaways that I'm walking away from this episode with is first, I don't fucking know how to spell genital. I spelt it so wrong so many times. It seems like a simple word. Alas,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And Google Docs will not give you a suggestion on it because apparently it's a dirty word.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

We're being censored. On Google.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Google Docs.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Google Docs. This is, that is an issue I run into a lot. With this research.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

no, I don't know, man. Guess you'll have to do your own research.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

you think those nasty, dirty thoughts, I'm not gonna help you. You impure fucker. Dear gosh, and then the other thing that I learned is almost as important. Can't spell genitals. Also, they are unpleasant to look at out of context. They are not attractive and that's all human genitals. Men's, women's, innies, outies, whatever. If I'm looking at a slideshow of just different vulvas, I'm not enjoying that experience.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Yeah.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

I don't want to think I'm too prudish here, because also don't look too closely at your mouths, people, because that's nasty too. Tongues, what is up with them?

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

If you do like a, like a down the throat look at like tonsils, you're also like, ugh.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah, mm mm, those are all inside parts. Inside parts. Leave them inside. But, just because they're ugly, to be fair, does not mean we need to mutilate them. Because if, without tongues, how would we taste delicious, delicious food? And

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

And also lick those nasty parts, because for some reason that feels good.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Yeah. Any qualms or any concerns that I was like harboring a secret lesbianism

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Gone. Gone.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

out the window, I was like, I do not want to put, I don't want to put my mouth on any genitals. Cut that out. But there's definitely some that seem easier to make myself do.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

Fair. That's very, very

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

that's the kind of insight you get here.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

On Impolite

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

In polite society. So, those are my lessons. I hope you walked away with a couple lessons. If not, the only lesson that matters is just love your body for how it is, folks. It is what

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

I hope you got a few laughs at least. I did.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

Oh yeah, we always walk out of here with a couple laughs, that's how we have our super strong abs. But if you had a good laugh and a good learn here today, tell a friend about our show. Don't be shy. Let the world know. I know we talked about some eyebrow raising stuff today, but it's a weird world out there, and if you're interested in it, your friends have probably Googled it as well, and they need to know about it. And as always, thank you so much for listening. You can send us your own rude thoughts or questions at rude at impolite society, podcast. com or the phone thing. That's in the show notes that nobody's used yet. So be the first,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

us.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

be the first. Our GMs are open.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

All right, everybody, thank you for listening,

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

and keep,

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

curious, my fellow weirdos, and keep marching to the beat of your own drum.

rachel-guest765_1_11-07-2024_220002:

say weirdos is politically charged.

laura_1_11-07-2024_220003:

This is fucking stupid, you can't take the word weirdo from me, you just can't.