Impolite Society: Exploring the Weird, Taboo & Macabre

Is the Clitoris a Tiny Penis?

• Impolite Society • Season 2 • Episode 8

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Between the covers of a medical school anatomy textbook, you'd expect to find all of the knowledge we've accumulated on the human body over the millennia. Every bone, muscle, and tendon accounted for. But there's one organ that's missing.  

Throughout history, the clitoris has been ignored, misidentified, and deemed vestigial. Even today, 90 percent of the organ is left out of the textbooks.  Is this pleasure producing part of the female anatomy some leftover hand me down from male genetics or something entirely different?

Like the clitoris, the truth can be hard to find. That's why we're exploring anatomy, embryology, and physiology to learn more about this hot button topic and find out if the clit is simply just a teeny tiny penis. That's what you're in for today on Impolite Society. 

Got your own thoughts? Text them to Impolite Society!

Text Rachel and Laura or email us at rude@impolitesocietypodcast.com. Visit our website for info about the show and your hosts.

Rachel:

Between the covers of a medical school anatomy textbook, you'd expect to find all of the knowledge we've accumulated on the human body over the millennia. Every bone, muscle, and tendon accounted for. But, there's one organ that's missing. Throughout history, the clitoris has been ignored, misidentified, and deemed vestigial. Even today, 90 percent of the organ is left out of the textbooks. Is this pleasure producing part of the female anatomy some leftover hand me down from male genetics? or something entirely different. Like the clitoris, the truth can be hard to find. That's why we're exploring anatomy, embryology, and physiology to learn more about this hot button topic and find out if the clit is simply just a teeny tiny penis. That's what you're in for today on Impolite Society. Welcome to the podcast that dives deep, deep down and digs into the folds to find that little pearl inside the taboo topics you can't discuss while meeting with campaign donors for your bid for local cop troller. I'm Rachel.

Laura:

And I'm Laura, and honestly, I think you probably should discuss those hot button issues when you're discussing a bid for local comptroller. I feel like that could get you some votes. Blah.

Rachel:

definitely. And we have a hot topic. button topic for you today. And this topic, let me tell you, it has evolved. Here is some behind the scenes magic that goes into Impolite Society. This was originally supposed to be part of a two part series where we focused on some of our male friends who are a little, uh, less well endowed. This was meant to pair with, one of Laura's episodes, Does Size Matter?, and I was going to cover. So Micropenis.

Laura:

I

Rachel:

So, as the good reporter that I am, I began my quest to find the smallest penis's penis. Penis, peni,

Laura:

it's penises.

Rachel:

penises. I tried to find the smallest penises in the world and my journey took me to all the normal places one would look. A Ford truck dealership, the NRA headquarters, and even the Republican National Convention. Ha ha ha.

Laura:

sure there are plenty of liberals out there with tiny, tiny micro penis,

Rachel:

and you will be shocked, SHOCKED to hear this, but that is not where you can find the tiniest dicks in the world. Because the owners of the most micro of micro penises are right here in this room. Bum bum bum!

Laura:

it me? Is it mine? Is it my micro penis?

Rachel:

Laura and I, we are both microtransvestites. No,

Laura:

Micro, micro transgenders.

Rachel:

Yes, we started the surgeries and we said, just kidding, we're not, we're not committed to this. Just stop it, right? Now. No, all joking aside, Laura, you and I are both rocking what some might equate to a millimeters long, teeny tiny penis. You know, if you throw out all. anatomical nuance and whatnot.

Laura:

I mean, I don't know. You don't know how big my clit is.

Rachel:

That's true. I have not

Laura:

I've got the biggest clit in the world. Maybe I've got a completely normal sized penis that I call my clitoris. You don't know.

Rachel:

Well, if you had even the world's biggest clitoris, I would say that that would probably put you in the ranks of the size of the penises that I found at the Ford truck dealership.

Laura:

I think it's like a micro, micro penis, like three inches or less. Like there's like a medical definition.

Rachel:

sure there is. I didn't look at it. I looked at the medical definition of when The opposite side, you know, I just like cut mostly through penises out for the

Laura:

Yeah, who needs them? Bye.

Rachel:

Yeah, Elora's already got a big enough clit. There you go But we're gonna look at the female anatomy because honestly so much is already Written studied learned about the penis that you can't you can't Go outside without being slapped in the face about a scientific study about a penis. So we're going to focus on the lesser covered, the clitoris, which maybe if this branding campaign works, they might get more studies. Because the question here that we're trying to dig into is, is the clitoris a teeny tiny penis? Before we put the head ahead of the shaft, Laura, I want to ask you, where is The clit. That's a hot, hot question.

Laura:

mean, I mean, as an owner. Of a clit slash micro micro penis. I can safely tell you it is between the legs. Uh, at the apex of basically the vulva. The external genitalia. You know, you got your labia majora. Which in my case, like, you know, covers it entirely. I call it the walnut. Like, you can't really see anything from the

Rachel:

think that's actually the ideal.

Laura:

Okay.

Rachel:

People idolize that. They want to keep the roast beef inside the buns. And

Laura:

Yeah, my roast beef is entirely inside the bun. And, uh, the clitoris is generally

Rachel:

Good for you.

Laura:

Yeah, nothing's hanging out. And, uh, up at the apex, you know, if you were looking at the vagina, which is like, you know, a triangle, it's right up there, not the vagina, the vulva, it's right there at the little top. It's a little nubby nubby. Is that, is that accurate?

Rachel:

That is actually a very scientific description. You said the word apex. I was not expecting that. I was like, Oh damn, Laura's got the vocabulary. And honestly, a little relieved too, because if you didn't know where to find one, I was going to be like, end the recording. We're busting out a mirror right now. And we're going to, we're going to learn about our, our bodies ourselves.

Laura:

And then we're going to go read the vagina monologues together.

Rachel:

Well, that's the inside part as, as you pointed out. Is my vagina is like a convenience store neat and tidy and closed on Christmas.

Laura:

Nyehehe. Nyehehehehehe. My clit is like stones. Gentle clit stones. I remember that part very distinctly.

Rachel:

Yes, that is what we're all about here in polite society, and those clit stones that the rivers flow over, that is called the external part of the clitoris, right? IT's that little knob, that little button in the hood that's located, uh, just due north of the p hole, aka the urethra.

Laura:

Yep.

Rachel:

And that gland, It's just the start of the story. It sticks out of your body about one to one and a half centimeters. So that's ten millimeters for anybody who's not up and up on their conversions. Which, honestly, that seems pretty big to me, but then again, I'm not a man. I've never whipped it out and pulled out a measuring tape and measured it.

Laura:

Uh, does it, does it gorge? I

Rachel:

It does, and we will get to

Laura:

I'll hold it. Buzzing. Mm hmm.

Rachel:

This little gland is covered by something called a hood, which is a skin, piece of skin that folds over the clit and protects it. Why does it need protecting? One may ask. Well, because there are around 8, 000 nerve endings in the gland alone, which I will point out is double that of a penis. And that is just the tip of the iceberg because 90 percent of the clitoris is inside the body. From the glands, the clitoris takes on kind of like a wishbone shape that encircles the vaginal opening with the legs. Called bulb bulb, BLBs bulbs.

Laura:

I like blubs better.

Rachel:

They're BLBs. This is the BLBs of my clitoris. I really want you to fondle the BLBs. My

Laura:

the blubs. Lick the

Rachel:

Well, you can't lick them'cause they're inside.

Laura:

Yeah, well, you know,

Rachel:

just stimulate'em. But these bulbs,

Laura:

those bubs. Blubs.

Rachel:

you might be able to, we'll find out more later. Um, but these bulbs. Go around the vagina opening and like into your pelvis. So those places where, if you are an owner of one, you might feel some like really nice contracting sensations.

Laura:

During an orgasm or just like period?

Rachel:

I would orgasm.

Laura:

Okay. All right. That's what I thought.

Rachel:

Yeah, they don't just do it randomly. Ha ha ha. So, fun fact about that. The blubs, the blubs, a k l, a k a k l, a k a,

Laura:

The bulbs.

Rachel:

exactly. This internal network is responsible for what would become our cultural obsession in the 2000s, which I'm sure you remember, it was on freaking Oprah at the time. And that is, of course, the elusive G spot. Since the G-spot is actually really a part of the internal clitoris where those two halves come together. The, you know, the two halves of the wishbone join together, like it's the crotch of the, of the clitoris. Is the G-spot in the front of your vagina?

Laura:

Okay, so then, like, the wishbone sides are on either sides of the vaginal opening. They come together, you know, to

Rachel:

the front, yeah.

Laura:

yeah, and that's where the G spot is. And then if you keep traveling up the wishbone to the very tip, that's the clitoris.

Rachel:

Yes. Well, the whole thing is the clitoris. The

Laura:

I'm sorry, but the external

Rachel:

Yeah, the gland.

Laura:

Got it.

Rachel:

Yes, you've got it specifically, which is a beautiful way to describe it for our audio medium. Thank you So in total from gland to wishbones to globs or Blobs. I already forgot the word we made up. Blobs.

Laura:

Blubs. Mm

Rachel:

The whole thing, uh, the whole shebang here is up to 10 centimeters. Which, for us on the American side of the pond, is about 4 to 5 inches.

Laura:

Oh, wow.

Rachel:

If you're familiar, it's also the size of a penis.

Laura:

The average size of a penis. What if I've got a giant clitoris, as we've discussed the whole fuckin thing. Ten inches, baby!

Rachel:

It goes inside, past my pelvis, and sticks out my back like a little tail. They thought it was a tail, but it was just my giant, throbbing clit.

Laura:

God, it's a new genre I'm gonna see on Pornhub.

Rachel:

Ha ha ha! Oh, any day now. Um, but we'll get royalties, hopefully? I don't know. Um, but to your point that you mentioned earlier, So, the clitoris is four inches Normally, but it actually has chambers that fill with blood and expand when aroused. Meaning, we do in fact get lady boners.

Laura:

Get vet tracts from me. I mean, if, even if you, if you look up on Wikipedia something about like, female genitalia, they literally have a picture of, like, non aroused and an aroused vulva. It's very different. And I appreciate that Wikipedia has this, but I'm like, man, those safe searches for your kiddos, whoo, they're going out the door.

Rachel:

turn Oh, I guess because Wikipedia is considered safe? Yeah, there's definitely all kinds of programs and stuff you can install on your computer to help with that. I'll send you some racks that I've heard about.

Laura:

For me to keep myself chase noted, okay,

Rachel:

yeah, to really hinder your implant society. research. No, for your children, Laura! But no, that totally tracks, because that's the time that, you know, the roast beef actually pokes out of the buns. Which is how you know it was a good time.

Laura:

if you're lucky if you're if you're girlies if everything's all tucked up tight She ain't

Rachel:

Yeah, that's like,

Laura:

time

Rachel:

mmm! You're also probably low on gravy at that point.

Laura:

Yeah

Rachel:

Ugh. This is a real raunchy one, sorry guys.

Laura:

it's, no, sorry, you know I like it, sorry, we're Canadian, sorry,

Rachel:

Okay, so, I'm out. We know that it swells, we know that a little sticks out, we know that it's bigger than we would think, but what does the clitoris do, And it's always been a mysterious and aloof entity, as we didn't really understand its function until way too recently, in my opinion. And that's because we just didn't fucking study it. And those who did, they got it pretty wrong. The clitoris was ascribed all kinds of functions. Like helping women pee, right? That doesn't make any sense. And that's actually the less ridiculous because another. I don't even want to call them scientists. Another studier of the human body, way back in the day, they said that the clitoris was the devil's teat. Which, at the time, if this totally normal part of the female anatomy was found on a suspected witch, it could mean a literal death sentence.

Laura:

Jesus,

Rachel:

Yeah, but honestly, it just gets better. Because, to me, that has more to do with Power drunk men just wanting to dig around in a lady's genitals than it

Laura:

yeah, no whack off to it later,

Rachel:

yeah, or just, just to humiliate somebody. I don't know. Humans are fucked up. You give humans a bounce of power and they turn into horrible, horrible people. Okay, that's on the bummer index. Let's get back. Let's get back to the fun part. And the best part of these early clitoral ideas was they didn't even acknowledge that it was a normal part of anatomy with some of them stating that healthy women don't have a clit.

Laura:

What? Like, in what years are we talking about here?

Rachel:

Oh, this is still like 16, 17 1800s, I think, somewhere around there.

Laura:

1800s would surprise me. 1600s? That tracks.

Rachel:

It's somewhere, it's somewhere between Henry Tudor and Lyndon B. Johnson.

Laura:

Okay,

Rachel:

You know,

Laura:

that's really narrowing it down, okay.

Rachel:

grand scheme of the earth, yes.

Laura:

True, true, true.

Rachel:

But to this day, there's still a lot of information that's missing here. even from those medical textbooks that we talked about, that Somebody who's studying to be a gynecologist, in their textbook, they only acknowledge the exterior part. There's not even a model of the full organ. And that full organ, again, wasn't fully imaged until, guess what year?

Laura:

I'm gonna guess recent, pretty damn recently. I'm gonna say the 90s?

Rachel:

You are very close. It is 1981.

Laura:

Okay.

Rachel:

we really went from literally the start of humanity to 1981 without seeing the entirety of the clitoris.

Laura:

Oh, but we all knew what it did. I mean, whether or not they put it in their textbooks or not, anybody in 1960 who has spent time with anybody in the slumber of love, they knew what it did.

Rachel:

Yes, and that might be why we are all just a little bit squeamish about the clitoris. Because of all of the functions that these, quote unquote, smart men had guesstimated for it in the past, they were all wrong. The clitoris is about pleasure. Only pleasure. It literally does nothing else but make its owners feel good. It's not necessarily a part of reproduction or expelling waste from the digestive system and You know if we're gonna try to topple the patriarchy that in itself is scary to the man.

Laura:

What is this thing about expelling waste?

Rachel:

they thought it was They, they thought it was a part of pee.

Laura:

Oh, Jesus.

Rachel:

remember, they thought it helped women pee. Um, is that

Laura:

a really digestive

Rachel:

okay, thank you, Laura, who's taking an anatomy class. Some kind of, it's urology. Is that its own system? I literally googled body systems. I don't know the systems.

Laura:

Urological systems. Yeah.

Rachel:

So, how do women become the owners of such a purely pleasure providing body part?

Laura:

God himself, or in Rachel's case, Satan himself, gave it over to

Rachel:

Satan came and gave us a kiss on the vulva and that

Laura:

it's the devil's kiss mark. Yeah, to

Rachel:

God's teat. Jesus is just down there.

Laura:

to Jesus's teeth. I like it.

Rachel:

That's actually probably one of the worst things I've said, that Jesus is just down there sucking on it. Watch out, lightning bolts. Don't get me. Okay. But so how did we become the owners of this? How did this come, how does this come to be for us modern day ladies? And I am not being dramatic here when I say that this research kind of blew my mind. And if you are ready to challenge your idea of biological sex, buckle in because this is fascinating. And to learn how our genitals come to be, we have to turn to my personal favorite pastime. The study of embryology, which I only say it was my personal favorite because I did one other episode that talked about embryology where I learned to pronounce the word and what it was.

Laura:

Show off.

Rachel:

Big science gal didn't even know urinary detract whatever was different than digestion. But what it comes down to is growing up, socialization in the United States of America, or probably a lot of the world, you have to think that Boy equals one thing and girl equals another, and that they are totally two separate states of being, but that's not really how it works. All humans begin developing in the womb, all embryos with the same set of genital tissues, which you can kind of hear a little bit more about that genital tissues business and our in our fart verse poo episodes if you dig back in the archive.

Laura:

All about that poop. It always comes back to poop.

Rachel:

That was a fun one. I really enjoyed that episode and Laura correcting all of my pronunciations. Again, she's taken a science class. I'm a communication major. I studied podcasting. No, just kidding. Podcasts didn't exist when I went to college. So when a human embryo is developing, it's around the end of month two and the beginning of month three, that the external genitalia will start to develop. Before then, from the outside, there is no difference. We are all rocking the same equipment. And it's not just that it's the same. Before that point, it has the potential to become either set. It's not like inherent pre penis for boys and inherent pre vagina for girls. Like whatever we start with, it could go either way.

Laura:

It's like a bulb, a blub of clay, and it can be molded into either. It's all made out of the same stuff.

Rachel:

Exactly. And they actually do have a blup. No, it is, uh, those parts include a genital bud or urogenital fold. A labial scrotal swelling in a urogenital membrane. That's kind of like the key components But then become the full genitals.

Laura:

so I'm noticing labioscrotal, hmm, labia and scrotum,

Rachel:

what that turns into.

Laura:

uh, yeah, they're kind of the same thing.

Rachel:

So what determines the direction they head in, right? We have the same. Materials, how do we know what they become? Well, that is determined by hormones that are produced in your testes or ovaries. And this is the first part of the reproductive system to develop. And again, they start from undifferentiated gonads. So we're all starting with some things that could either become testicles or become ovaries.

Laura:

So much potential.

Rachel:

Oh, that's just the state of being a human, right?

Laura:

Aww, that's a sweet thought.

Rachel:

And then we just make podcasts about clits. What does that say about us?

Laura:

think it's great. We find the underlying truth. And that we are all just undifferentiated gonads waiting to become whatever we're going to become. I like that.

Rachel:

I like that too. And once those deciding pieces, those hormones, start pumping, the raw clay starts being formed into the external genitalia we all know and love. The bud becomes either the head of the penis or the clitoris. The labial scrotal swelling turns into Three guesses?

Laura:

I don't need three. Labia and scrotum.

Rachel:

Yes! Right? It becomes either the scrotum or the labia majora. The urogenital membrane splits from the cloaca to form the urethra and an anus.

Laura:

We both got one of those.

Rachel:

The great unifier. And the urogenital fold either becomes the labia minora or becomes sealed up inside of the scrotum and testes. In fact, you can actually see the seam where it comes together on the underside of the penis called the perennial or scrotal raffi, which is, it's interesting. You can see it on all your lovers. Look, it's there.

Laura:

Oh, yeah, that little line you're looking at. You're like, is this a tan line? And then interestingly, when you're pregnant, you get that same line on your, well, it's not the same line, but like you get a line on your belly,

Rachel:

Yes, because your muscles, the seam that holds your abdomen together, is being broken. I, I don't know. I, I just guessed, honestly, on that

Laura:

it has something to do with melatonin, but it's like just like something down like our freaking bodies like just rip it in half We're ready to be ripped apart at any moment by the scrotum, the labia, the stomach.

Rachel:

no, that, I mean, that's exactly what it is because what's behind that folder if that fold didn't fit? It's just waiting to emerge, waiting to blossom from your ball sack. And I actually have a chart of how genitals develop and I put it in our notes today. So Laura, I want to know what you think as someone, as I mentioned, who's actually taken classes on the subject. Is this surprising to you? Is this less surprising? I'm just a big dummy. So I don't, I didn't really think a lot about genitals before this research.

Laura:

So, okay, I'm looking at the chart and yes, it is interesting because I'm not like actually a well educated science person I've only took a couple anatomy, couple

Rachel:

cut up a, she's cut up bodies. That's enough.

Laura:

Yeah, but, uh, yeah, it is surprising because, like, you, you see in the beginning, you've got the, this, you know, general blob that's the same for everybody, and then you see it split between male and female, and the first, like, three stages look pretty much exactly the same, and then it differentiates, I would say, I don't know when, like, the month You know, breakdown of this is, but, you know, it doesn't start to diverge and look different until the very end. And that, you know, one of them extends upwards and the other one kind of caves in on itself.

Rachel:

And to me, again, I always thought it was A or B. And this really kind of challenged that perception and that it's the same. ingredients, just a different recipe of how it comes together. And if you don't follow that recipe precisely, you can actually end up with something in between. And there really are quite a few variations of how genitals can develop, and this makes the similarities between the two outcomes even more obvious, You can get a penis with a urethra that opens up on the underside of the shaft.

Laura:

Oh, that seems unfortunate. Yeah, but

Rachel:

I mean, Yeah, it is what it is. Or, you know, you can have a vulva with a very pronounced clitoris that looks more like a penis, and really anywhere in between. These are called disorders of sexual development, and they occur when the hormones are not created or absorbed at what would be considered The normal level, which, okay, honestly, that makes me feel like our original topic, micropenises, might have been a bit insensitive since they are probably more likely to belong to people who are experiencing a disorder that is dramatically impacting their lives.

Laura:

I want to understand more of it. I mean, I imagine this is like good background research. So I'm glad we did this one first. This is a much better topic to start with because I still want to talk about sizes and micro penises and that kind of thing. But I mean, yeah, whatever it is, it is. But like, what is the life? What does a day in the life look like? I'm curious.

Rachel:

somebody with a micropenis, that is interesting. If only I had followed up with my contact at the podcast convention we went to,

Laura:

Ayo!

Rachel:

he was very willing to share his micropenis with me. Not this, well, the fact that he had one and. The penis

Laura:

he wanted to share it. You were just not interested.

Rachel:

I was like, hey, sorry. I'm super married. But at the same time, that's not a good sales pitch Sorry guy, I really hope he's doing well I hope he either he really did have a micropenis and that's Very sad that he's just like taking up that hemer coat of armor or he was just trying to like set the bar low Be like, yeah, come back to me. Come back to my hotel room. I have a very cavernous vagina. So when they actually enter, they're like, oh, this is much tighter than I expected. I'm going to

Laura:

It would work for women. I don't think it would work for men.

Rachel:

because yeah, I would just. It would, they wouldn't, they wouldn't get to that part where the person was surprised, pleasantly surprised.

Laura:

exactly. Yeah. But dudes would be like, I'll check it out.

Rachel:

Yeah, I want to, I want to see this cavernous vagina. I might just crawl up in there, do some spelunking.

Laura:

Take a nap.

Rachel:

I'll do some research and try to get it published in a scientific journal. Not. Haha. Okay. But, but since vulvas and penises are on opposite ends of what I've come to consider a spectrum, I do want to bust a very common myth real quick. So in my studies, I did learn about the concept of a hermaphrodite, which I will say is not a PC term anymore. So take it out of your vocabulary, everybody who's saying hermaphrodite every day, um, because you can't really develop a full penis. and vagina, right? You can't have both sets because it just doesn't work like that. People who have ambiguous genitalia, they just have one set that doesn't neatly fit into, um, the typical expressions of a vulva or a penis, so, you can't have both because that would take two sets of this founding clay.

Laura:

I get it, yeah. I guess I haven't really thought that much of what I considered a quote hermaphrodite to be, but I guess it is. It's like, Oh, it's both. And you're like, yeah, but like you said, you literally can't have both. Maybe you'd have like, I don't know, a vulva that looks like a ball sack. I don't even know. Now I, now I just want to Google pictures of ambiguous genitalia.

Rachel:

Yeah. No, I've. Oh yeah, I mean it looks a lot like this other chart that I have referenced in here. It's just like vaginas with big clits or men with urethras in their penises. And you know, I'm not gonna say it's never happened, because there's probably somebody who has two fucking, I don't know. But I'm just saying that, like, that idea that people are out there with both sets. It's just not, it's not the norm, you know, because it all starts from one. And so to me, after learning this, it's no longer Category A or Category B, but it's that the male and female genitals are actually two sides of the same coin. So that begs my question, is the clitoris just that very small penis that we thought it was?

Laura:

you bet it is. Suck it.

Rachel:

Swirled everybody.

Laura:

Yeah. Suck it.

Rachel:

That's what I should have said to that guy. He's like, let's just measure up and see who's bigger.

Laura:

Let's get out our measuring tapes.

Rachel:

We're, we're working in millimeters here, so it's going to be sticky. Um, but Laura, I, again, I've added another tiger and this is like a very scientific episode. and this one shows. Both the clitoris and the penis side by side and they're full glory. Can you tell me what you see here and how they compare?

Laura:

Well on the left is the clitoris and again this is the full like inside portion that you don't see of the penis and the clitoris on the left. It's like a little like the wishbone that Rachel described, but the top, instead of sticking kind of straight up, goes up, and then it kind of points downward, and then the downward point, the very head, that's the external, the hot button part of the clitoris, and then on the right is the penis, and it looks pretty much the same, it's got these little, dangly bits that go down, but Much bigger. That's pretty much the difference. It looks like just size, honestly. And then, but if you add skin to it, that's a whole nother thing. But sand skin, if you're looking at the organ structure, very, very, very similar.

Rachel:

I really like that this diagram calls out the cavernous bodies of both of them. they're just saying that they both swell with blood during arousal, but It's just funny, cavernous is a funny word.

Laura:

Could you go see my cavernous vagina?

Rachel:

That's really what set the precedent for it, I'm still laughing at my own joke. but beyond the obvious visual comparison, there are even more ways that the clitoris is like a penis. And the very first is what we were just talking about, is the fact that the clit has chambers that fill with blood and swell when excited. And not only do these lady boners occur when aroused, but women also experience nighttime engorgements or nocturnal erections during REM sleep, just like men. So ladies, we also get morning wood, just like the guys. But while we're talking about anatomy again, let's mention something else. Remember that kind of cute little hood that the clit wears? Do you know what that basically is?

Laura:

Clanshood. No, that was the previous episode. That was the

Rachel:

back to the witch's hat. No, it's essentially foreskin, right? The clitoral hood is made up of the same tissue as the foreskin. And really, is that a surprise considering that they do the same thing, which is cover up the gland of the

Laura:

The really sensitive bit. Yeah, that makes perfect sense to me.

Rachel:

okay, SO when you think of foreskin, and you think of pulling the foreskin back, what might you find hanging out underneath it? Okay.

Laura:

The head of a dick.

Rachel:

Well, what other stuff might be lurking under there?

Laura:

Eww. Uh, well.

Rachel:

You got it.

Laura:

stuff.

Rachel:

Yeah. And what is the name of that unwanted stuff?

Laura:

It's smegma. I didn't even have to look at your notes. I knew this.

Rachel:

Semagma, which is not, by the way, I'm fucking made up slang word, but it is a true medical term for that cheesy, oily matter that collects between the glands of the penis and the foreskin or around the clitoris.

Laura:

There's clit cheese?

Rachel:

Oh, yes! And I did look it up, and I read a lot of articles about it, and let me tell you that after reading those articles, I will never look at cottage cheese or tofu ever the same way again!

Laura:

Awww.

Rachel:

yes, there is smagma under the clitoral hood, so that's to say ladies, when you're cleaning yourselves make sure to get under the hood. So by now, I know what you're saying. You guys are thinking that you're on to some huge differences. Between the clitoris and the penis some major Major difference that we haven't acknowledged yet.

Laura:

okay. Penis and clit. Um, well, you pee out of one. You don't pee out of the other, the way these early scientists suspected, but there's something else that comes out of a penis.

Rachel:

Mm hmm ding ding ding my students of the genitalia in addition to urinating through a penis its owner also ejaculates semen From the testes, through some tubes that I didn't bother to look up, and through

Laura:

Fast difference! I know, because my husband just got his clipped.

Rachel:

good for him. And does it come out the urethra still, I guess? I don't know. But it shoots out the top during climax. And while a clitoris sole purpose is the female orgasm, it doesn't ejaculate like the male organ. Or does it?

Laura:

Dun, Dun, dun,

Rachel:

Thank you for the mood music, it was needed. Anyone who's gotten drunk with a group of women and had the conversation turn to sex, or, I don't know, maybe you just browse the categories of Pornhub, has heard of this mythical phenomenon known as female ejaculation. Street name? Squirting.

Laura:

Oh, it's not mythical. I know people.

Rachel:

Well, yeah, because you've had those drunken conversations.

Laura:

Mm hmm.

Rachel:

But it feels mythical to some of us, I guess. Oh,

Laura:

Not me!

Rachel:

well, have you seen it in person?

Laura:

That's a whole nother conversation. Ha ha ha.

Rachel:

mythical. So, a lot of people think that female jackal is just piss, right? It's just urine. which, you know, if you're actually viewing it on Pornhub, it probably is really this. but studies have found that this liquid only contains trace amounts of urine and actually shares a lot of components with male seminal fluid. And quick aside, these studies range in validity from, um, taste testing. to actually looking at and studying the liquid itself. So like, take that with a grain of salt. Some people are really like,

Laura:

Jesus Christ. Trace amounts of urine.

Rachel:

they're like, that doesn't taste like pee. I know, I know what pee tastes like. Yes.

Laura:

piquant, uh, after dinner style flavor. Maybe some, some honey, is that honeydew? Notes of

Rachel:

Oh my gosh, and the mouthfeel.

Laura:

ha.

Rachel:

Exquisite.

Laura:

A plus.

Rachel:

So how does this happen, right? Because obviously women don't have testes. But you see, women do have a collection of tissue under the bladder and around the urethra that is similar to the prostate gland in men. This tissue, also known as the female prostate, very original, or skin's glands, appears to be the source of a viscous, now that's a sexy word, viscous, white, secretion, which exits from the urethra upon sexual stimulation in some women.

Laura:

This is what's always confused me. How does it get into the urethra to eject, eject, eject, eject? That's what has always confused me about this scenario, and I've never been able to find a sufficient answer in my,

Rachel:

the research,

Laura:

research.

Rachel:

the research doesn't exist, right? Because nobody's studying this shit! Like, literally our best guess is a taste test! Yeah,

Laura:

it out,

Rachel:

do you think that somebody can go to an academic board or a board of a university and say, please, please, please, can I have funding to study female ejaculation?

Laura:

I mean, if I were on that board, I'd say, Fuck yes, you can.

Rachel:

unfortunately all these boards of old white men, they feel salty because I've never made a woman ejaculate. So they say, no, no, no, no. And so we'll. We'll never know. This is why we're starting the Implied Society academic research paper, and we will let you taste any, yes, any fluids that come out of our bodies.

Laura:

No, no, not any.

Rachel:

But

Laura:

get a spectrometer and we'll figure it out.

Rachel:

yeah, I just like, I would, I would love to, no, we're not tasting. We'll allow other people to taste.

Laura:

Oh, volunteers.

Rachel:

Yes, because we can't fund these studies. Like, let's be real, this podcast, I, something you may notice is that our podcast doesn't have ads. You're welcome. It's because we care about your experience, aka we don't have any sponsors. So we are not making money. We can't pay you to do scientific studies. But if we ever did, I would pay people to figure out what the fuck SCORT is. It's not even the proper, like, construction of that sentence, whatever square it is. But anyways, some people think it comes from the female prostate.

Laura:

Mmm.

Rachel:

So from origin to structure to function, the clitoris shares a lot with the penis, almost too much. So when does a clitoris become a penis? Again, there's no concrete study on this. Most ambiguous genitalia is diagnosed at birth. So to create these parameters around what's normal, you would have to go to your local hospital nursery, start yanking off diapers, and get your measuring tape out, and really, Who the fuck wants to do that? And again, how do you think you're gonna get any funding for this study?

Laura:

Yeah, that would be a hard sell.

Rachel:

Yeah, you can imagine like, Oh my god, congratulations, your new daughter's beautiful, can I please dig around in her vulva and measure how big her clit is? Like, what would you say? No! I

Laura:

No! Get the hell away from my baby!

Rachel:

I have 911 on the phone right now! Oh my god. So needless to say, There's not a lot of formal study around it, but according to, Dickinson's Atlas of Human Sex Anatomy, which was published around 70 years ago. If that doesn't really show the lack of modern understanding of female anatomy, I don't know. What does, but,

Laura:

I just would like to call out Dickensons.

Rachel:

oh yeah, I would definitely, I was about to refer to this as Dick's, Dick's Atlas, Dick's Atlas defines that being too big at birth as more than five millimeters, which is half a centimeter again, for those of y'all who can't multiply by 10 and four millimeters wide. To me, I don't know. I don't look at a lot of newborn clitorises. So that seems like a very narrow margin to me. And there's like more metrics now that have a little bit, like they differ a little bit. And they also look at different parts, like the clitoral hood, which I imagine is a lot less invasive to measure. Um, but really when it comes down to it, clitoris size is like pornography. Sure. You can try to give it an objective definition to it, but really, you know it when you see it. When it's too big, you know it. Because that's what it comes down to. If it doesn't look right at birth, doctors may push to have corrective cosmetic surgery to fix it. but that's another rabbit hole for another day.

Laura:

That's exactly what I was gonna say. Previously when you were talking about measuring how do we know, I'm like, I don't know, you just look at it.

Rachel:

Yeah, it's like, does this look normal? I don't know. But what's normal to one person versus another? And what's I'm Especially when it comes to clitorises, like, is having a bigger clitoris going to stop you from living a normal life until you can decide for yourself what you want to do with it? Exactly! So there's surgeries that are happening to baby girls, where they're removing clitorises, which is then, basically female circumcision, where they then take away these, these girls Sensitivity for the rest of their lives just because it didn't look right just because they didn't fall Perfectly into the categories of the spectrum. Sorry. This is like I get passionate about this

Laura:

yeah. Leave, leave the clits alone. Leave the clits alone!

Rachel:

a saying if it pees let it be Because that's the only reason that you would need to perform surgery on a newborn is if they can't urinate on their own So if it pees No,

Laura:

Did you make that up or is that really a thing?

Rachel:

it's really a thing. It's part of, like, the intersex community. Yeah.

Laura:

sounds legit and I am, I'm on board.

Rachel:

Yes, I'm very much in the camp of don't mutilate your children's genitalia. Male or female, la, I am holding strong here. Every time a doctor came in and said, Oh, are you trying to schedule a circumcision? I said no. No, ma'am. Get out of here. Because it, because there was always a nurse. I don't know. There's no male

Laura:

give a shit. I know, for like

Rachel:

you see, when you're in the hospital, you see what, one doctor? That seems like the easiest fucking job in the world. I'm sorry. I, I'm really salty against doctors. That's neither here nor there. So, when it comes down to it, is the clitoris just a tiny underdeveloped penis? I would say that's a very male centric way to view it, especially going back to the fun, fun world of embryology. And this is not just the Barbie movie that is telling me to question males as the standard. All our genitals begin from the same blob. Ha ha! Blob! Blub of tissue. So who's to say that one is a vestigial version of the other? So is the clitoris, now you got me saying it, is the clitoris a tiny penis? Or is the penis a huge, malformed, overly showy clitoris? And, dear listeners, that is up for you to decide.

Laura:

I like that. Yeah. Why are we saying that the clit looks like a penis? Why? Ooh, clit's a penis. Clit's a penis. Maybe the penis is a clit. Y'all ever think of that? I didn't until literally you just said it.

Rachel:

Exactly. Exactly. Because That's the patriarchy. Everything's set from a male lens. But no, really, it could be the other way. Who's to say? God is a woman. Let's chicken or the egg. Well, that is the show folks If you want to learn more about taboo topics take your micro penises and jumbo clits over to your favorite podcasting apps and subscribe to employee society or visit us on social media

Laura:

and most importantly, this is the best part, guys. You need to share this with someone in your life. a matter of millimeters is all that separates a clitoris from being a penis, all that separates you from connecting with a friend over that fun fact. It's just a quick podcast recommendation. Just let them know. Just say, Hey, you should listen to this podcast. Hey, my clit is a millimeter too big. it out.

Rachel:

What's better than writing that sentence is hearing another living human read it out loud. And guys, guys, what it really comes down to is it doesn't matter where your equipment falls on the spectrum of genitalia, just be sure to fucking enjoy it with other consenting adults or, you know, on your own. It doesn't matter. Wicked

Laura:

Rachel

Rachel:

wicked wicked.

Laura:

should wake up, wake up, wake

Rachel:

And don't forget Never ever EVER forget, Stay weird and keep marching to the beat of your own drum. We'll never be famous. Don't look too closely at our logo. I thought our logo was good.

Laura:

It is cool, just don't look too close.

Rachel:

Kind of like us. cool. Just don't look too closely. My new motto, truly.